By Jorge Ignacio Castillo

Death on the Nile (USA, 2022): One of the last 20th Century Fox productions before the company was purchased by Disney, Death on the Nile is as old fashioned as they come. Based on the Agatha Christie novel of the same name, there’s little I can say that it won’t spoil a portion of the film. Suffice to say it involves a rich heiress (Gal Gadot), her shady fiancé (Armie Hammer in the last movie we’ll see him for a while), his former lover (Sex Education’s Emma Mackey) and an assorted bag of hanger-ons (among them, Russell Brand, Annette Bening, Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders, together again). The cherry on the murder cake is Hercules Poirot (Kenneth Branagh, also the director), the brilliant, guarded Belgian detective with as many quirks as the night is long.

Someone gets killed an hour in (the setup takes that long) mid-journey through the Nile. Predictably, everybody has a motive and the opportunity to commit the heinous act. The novelty here is that it’s not the only violent death, not by a long shot.

Some dodgy CGI notwithstanding, Death on the Nile is pretty to watch, not a hair our of place. Hilariously, the film doubles as an origin story for Poirot’s rococo moustache. True to Kenneth Branagh’s version of the character, this Poirot is wistful and broken, far cry from Albert Finney’s flamboyant performance or David Suchet’s fussy, smug approach. The problem is that while Branagh puts considerable effort in making Poirot emotionally complex, the rest of the characters are paper thin. While most old pros in the film come out unscathed, Gal Gadot—who’s not the most versatile of thespians—suffers: her Linnet is supposed to exhibits some shades of grey and there are none to be found in Gadot’s interpretation.

Branagh’s old fashioned approach hurts the resolution. I figured out who the perpetrator was and the motive before the crime was committed. Then again, Christie’s novels chased mass market appeal and some of that power comes across. An unexpected surprise is Death on the Nile’s MVP, Sophie Okonedo, as a self-assured blues singer that captures Poirot’s interest, and not as a suspect. 2.5/5 stars.

Blacklight (USA,2022): It’s February, so here comes the regulatory Liam Neeson action flick. Once again, the questions about why the septuagenarian Irish actor would choose to pursue this line of work re-emerge. At least unlike Bruce Willis, Neeson refuses to phone it in, even when the movie he’s in is not worth the effort.

Blacklight is one of Neeson’s lesser outputs of late. Here he’s Travis Block, an FBI fixer specialized in getting undercover agents to safety. Just as he’s considering retirement, Travis is assigned to bring a troublemaker agent back to the bureau. The G-man in question claims Travis’ boss (Aidan Quinn) is ordering hits on civilians that in his view are disturbing the peace.

Let’s give Blacklight a pass over the fact the very scenic Melbourne looks nothing like Washington D.C. In this movie the dialogue exists solely to pass extensive bits of information in the broadest way possible. It’s not far from “good morning, only daughter of mine whose husband is a deadbeat, how is your job as a nurse at the hospital?” The action bits are perfunctory and at times, silly. At some point, the agent escapes Neeson’s grip by stealing… a garbage truck, possibly the least convenient getaway vehicle.

I wish I could tell you this is it for Taken Neeson, but there are three more similar flicks coming our way. For a guy who has work with Scorsese, Spielberg and the Coen Brothers, his career choices remain baffling. 1.5/5 stars.

Blacklight is now playing in theatres.